хочу в туалет

Что делать если хочешь в туалет?

Для начала давайте разберемся, Вы ведь читаете это не потому что хотите прямо сейчас? Иначе мне придется поторопиться, а я этого ой как не люблю… Терпите? Потерпите немного, будет неловко, смешно и полезно.

Итак, давайте для начала разберемся, Вы хотите по маленькому или по большому?

Что делать, если я хочу в туалет по маленькому?

Во-первых, терпеть можно, но не нужно. Скажу больше — терпеть очень вредно и это может привести в конечном итоге к разрыву мочевого пузыря. То есть Вы все равно обоссытесь, но в себя. Так что не теряйтесь и ищите туалет!

Есть несколько проверенных методов, которые позволяют на время забыть о неумном желании напрудить посреди улицы или кабинета:

  • Принять удобную позу (ее нужно подбирать строго индивидуально)
  • Подумать о сексе, попытаться возбудиться (секс и мочеиспускание мало совместимы физиологически, так что это срабатывает, правда на не очень продолжительное время. При этом совершенно не ясно, что лучше: обоссаться посреди кабинета или показать всем свою эрекцию…)
  • Заранее или в самом начале появления этого ощущения съесть что-то соленое (соль задерживает влагу в тканях организма)

В любом случае, туалет лучше найти.

Что делать, если я хочу в туалет по большому?

Ну вот Вы снова на важном мероприятии, излучаете уверенность и сексуальность, но… насладиться этим нет никакой возможности, все мысли о том, как бы найти туалет и отложить здоровущую личинку, обдав белого фаянсового друга удушающим ветерком. Как вытерпеть эту муку, не сойти сума и не обосраться оконфузиться? Вот несколько советов от бывалых:

  • Не взумайте сесть! Если сидите — встаньте или лягте. (дело в том, что в этих позах давление на живот минимально) Сложно сделать этот выкрутас на совещании? Значит этот пункт не для Вас )))
  • Подобную ситуацию легко было предотвратить — не наедайтесь до мероприятия и обязательно сходите в туалет перед выходом! И не смейте есть перед выходом бобы, овощи или фрукты, они первыми просятся наружу 😉
  • Не пейте кофе, оно способствует дефекации!
  • Не шевелитесь, любая активность может спровоцировать… ой, да обосретесь Вы просто и все тут!
  • Не паникуйте, позывы волнообразны и Вам скоро станет полегче. Если поддадитесь панике — потом паниковать придется окружающим 😉
  • Постарайтесь отвлечься, но не на столько, чтобы расслабить булки!
  • Не стесняйтесь выйти в туалет, не терпите. Это естественно! Главное не забудьте про освежитель воздуха.

Ну а если ничего не помогает, то сожмите ягодицы и держитесь до последнего! Но пасаран!!!

 

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